sunset in Phuket

I found this photo in my friend Siti's facebook account. Wow! I miss Thailand. This was taken in Phuket. Wow.

The past 5 New Years in Review

Again comes another end of the year, and while celestially speaking this is quite an arbitrary moment in time to break one year from the next, it's cultural rituals like this that get us to look back, reflect, and remember. Living in the past isn't the way to live life though. The past doesn't exist any more, and it can never exist again. Every moment that we pass through is like this. But the past leads us to now, and into the future, so to guide us forward, we need to understand the past.

I don't know why I've always liked to use intervals of 5, but today I decided to recall where I was each of the new years these past 5 years. I'll start with the 2003 new year.

2003

In 2002 I was a sophomore at UMass. In September I had just come back from an internship in DC, and I was mentally burning out. Probably one of the most confusing times of my life, my newfound "passion" of activism was burning me up with disillusionment, and I just wanted to run far far away.

My family decided that for the winter break, we should all go to Hong Kong, and that's what we did. On New Year Eve my Auntie Chan Tai and family and Auntie Winnie and Family shared a dinner with us in TST 尖沙咀. From the window we could see the reflection of fireworks in the glass building across from us. My brother and I wanted to go to Lan Kwai Fong for the countdown. Turned out we did nothing but stand in a line, zig-zagging the blocks. Ever since about 15 years ago when several people died and many were injured when people fell and caused a domino effect (Lan Kwai Fong is a nightlife center on an incline) police in HK have strictly controlled and directed the crowd. We never got to Lan Kwai Fong. Oh well. This picture was probably taken a few days before that.

Also memorable from the trip was going to our uncle's fish farm near the border with China (Shenzhen). It was the first time ever in my life being in a rural area, although you can see the advance of urbanity in the hazy horizon.

My friend Melissa was in Hong Kong at this time, on exchange at the Chinese University of Hong Kong (CUHK). Maybe it was her that gave me the idea, but when I got back to the US, I applied for exchange at CUHK, as well as for transfer to various UC schools (anywhere I could escape to).

2004
I didn't learn my lesson from New Year 2003. Back to Lan Kwai Fong for New Year 2004!

So I ended up going to CUHK, where I started my self-prescribed psychological healing process by bringing chaos to my soul. Not only did I have other-worldly energy for learning Chinese, but I did a 180 on most of my beliefs (from gender roles, to globalization, culture, etc), or just dropped my beliefs altogether as if trying to start anew.

So during winter break after my first semester at CUHK, most of my exchange friends left, except for Amy and Kar Wai. My uncle who lived at the Chinese border was soon to be forced off his fish farm because the land was bought up by some real estate developer. I brought Amy and Kar Wai there to check it out on the 31st. At night we walked around TST, and then to Lan Kwai Fong. Amy is entertaining herself in the above picture with the cap of a Watson's bottled water, as we stand in line. The same thing happened as the previous year with my brother, we never got there on time, and we didn't even hear any countdown.

A bit before New Year I went on my first backpacking trip in China, and has been one of my most memorable travel experiences. This picture is taken in Yangshuo China, near Guilin.


2005
What can I say, I don't remember what I did for this New Year (probably stayed at home in Wilbraham, MA). After my 2 semesters at CUHK '03-'04, an internship at a non-profit in HK in May, and then Beijing for language courses and homestay in the summer, I came back to UMass for fall '04. Throughout that time I had my first relationship, quite a rocky one, but one that I've learned a lot from. Probably because I brought chaos to my soul, but never restored peace, I felt that my time wasn't over yet abroad. I hurried through my semester to graduate early, and left for Taiwan in January (via Hong Kong for some more rockiness in my relationship which continued on and off). But just like my disillusionment with fighting the good fight, my otherworldly energy for learning Chinese dropped to hell, and my project of bringing chaos to my soul had left me numb already in 2004, and thus into 2005. Here's a picture from UMass.



2006
Returning to the US from Taiwan, I largely thought my living abroad days were over, and feeling pretty empty and purposeless, I was hoping my PhD program at SUNY Albany would bring me back on track...any track would do.


For New Year Eve, I did the countdown thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is a college town with Smith nearby. But despite its small town center and mostly suburban housing, it's got a sort of mini-urban feel in the center. Plus, it's not unusual to see same-sex couples holding hands, as its a very queer-friendly place. This second picture is taken of me and Beverly at Frog Pond at Boston. We did a road trip from Albany, to Amherst and Northampton (countdown pic), to Wilbraham (my home), to Boston, to Salem (nice witch museum), to Providence, and finally to New York city to drop Beverly off at Columbia. We started the trip as good (flirtatious) friends. We ended the trip as boyfriend and girlfriend.

2007
And I thought my living abroad days were over! Through all my globe-trotting, the only reason why I went back to live in the US was because my family is there. Otherwise, I probably would have just stayed in Asia, straight out, working and living. As a compromise and balance, I wanted to take all my summer opportunities to live that different life. But a summer in Thailand teaching English turned into a year.

This is a video taken in Phuket on the 31st. It's the first time I've spent my birthday (yes, Jan 1st is my birthday), and New Year Eve with a girlfriend (and thus my first New Year kiss). The motorcycle is a taxi motorcycle. In Thailand usually you can fit 2 passengers behind the driver (in Cambodia you'll see up to 5 or 6!) We'd just got to Phuket from the airport, and after checking into the hotel, took the moto down to the beach. Fireworks were going off in the front while we sped down the yellow Xmas lit street (Thailand loves the color yellow as it represents the king). The night was spent in classic romantic movie style, at an amusement park where I won a cute (as in Japanese hello-kitty cute) tea-set by winning a darts game (pop a balloon with every dart you throw), and going on the ferris-wheel.



From Phuket, we took a boat to PiPi island, which was one of the places devastated by the '05 Tsunami. But the island has recovered nicely for the most part. And the fish look really nice in the beautifully blue water.

As for my personal development? Let's just say that I got a caustically bitter email in the early part of my time in Thailand, 'causing me to really dig deeper, and think back to my 2 relationships to realize I needed to change. My time in Thailand was the year things began to snap into place.

2008

And now, here I am in Hong Kong, at least until April. My plan for New Year Eve is to meet in TST with my friend Nancy, whom I met this past summer in Boston through BCCJ.


So that's the past 5 years in review. Let's see what the next 5 bring.

Most of the acquaintances from the small salsa community and Capoeira community in Bangkok had the same reactions when they saw me: "Ow! I thought you left!?"

"Ow," said with a sharp raise in tone, is a common Thai expression that doesn't quite have an English equivalent. Perhaps a mix of "huh?" or "hey!" together, you'd usually say it if someone did something that confused you, or surprised you, or both. Just picture both eyebrows raising up as one says "Ow!?"

One of my Farang friends (Farang is equivalent to the Cantonese "Gwailo," - white foreigner) said to me "I thought you'd died from a Motorcycle accident or something!" He was a friend from the salsa scene I ran into a lot, and it was our running joke that we'd always greet each other with "so you're still alive!" because we were both motorcycle drivers in the chaotic streets of Bangkok. I guess he never got a farewell from me, and not having seen me for 3 months, assumed the worst.

I ran into him at the new salsa club, Dream. Fogo Vigo has been closed to dancing! Apparently the Brazillian club did not have a "dancing license," and was thus forced to close by the police. I think what this really means is that they refused to pay a bribe demanded by the corrupt police force.

And at the school I used to teach at, I just popped in to say hello. Children can be intensely boisterous and mischeivous in one situation, but totally shy and irresponsive in another. Most of them exclaimed a "teacher Felix!" when they saw me, but got quiet and mumbly when I asked how they were doing, how they liked the new English teacher, and if such and such a student was still around. As always, the fifth-grade girls were most talkative (now sixth-grade!)

"Teacher, you come back to teach?" Amy asks.
"No, I've come back just to say hello. How do you like your new teacher?"
"Uh, good." Cream says not so enthusiastically.
"Teacher, you come back to teach!" Amy says.
"Really? You want me to come back and teach?"
"Yes!" Amy and Cream say simultaneously.
"You liked my teaching?"
"Yes!" Amy and Cream say simultaneously. I puzzle over this a moment.
"So does the new teacher ever play games with you?"
"No, teacher," Amy says to me with excited dissaproval. "Never! And so much homework!" I quickly realized that they missed me not because I was a good teacher, but in fact because I was a bad teacher. They missed me because I was an entertainer. But that's all in the past.


Strangely, walking around Bangkok, it felt as if I'd never left. But now that I've come back to the US, it's like everything in Bangkok was a dream. Memories from distant places always seem to end up that way - like dreams that one day you yourself begin to doubt whether they ever really happened.

Final Days in Thailand - Tribute to various Thai-isms

I've made it to Hong Kong, and I've been spending my days taking Capoeira lessons, visiting relatives and friends, and getting ready for my trip to Guangzhou. But here's a wrap-up overview of the two and a half weeks that I spent in Thailand after India:

PHOTOS!
1. Bidding farewell to my Capoeira Thailand group with a King of the Hill roda and dinner and drinks

2. Various photos taken throughout the year I haven't yet shown

Personal Reflections
In a lot of ways, leaving Thailand was more heart-breaking than leaving Hong Kong or Taiwan was, but in a very good way. When someone is lost in the world and doesn't know his/her place in it, s/he easily grasps and gets attached to familiar things out of an unconscious desperation, and doesn't wish to let go, which were my feelings for Hong Kong. But once we know who we are and start to live with purpose, then we develop a love for a place in an unattached way, like I did for Thailand. No matter how silly some different cultural customs may have seemed to me at first, I knew I would miss them when I left....here is a tribute to the special aspects of Thailand that I will miss:

Tribute to Various Thai-isms
1. Weaving and threading through Bangkok traffic (comparable to LA traffic) on my motorbike.

2. Dim Sum! People will laugh at me for this: Can you guess what my final meal was in Bangkok, at the airport? Pad Thai perhaps? Tom Yum Gong? Papaya Salad? Nope! Dim Sum! I like it in Bangkok (BKK) better than Dim Sum even in Hong Kong. I like it in BKK because the food is bitesized (HK dim sum is collossal compared to BKK dim sum), they have dim sum I haven't seen in HK, and I have to admit, I think they put more MSG in dim sum in BKK, very tasty =) (but unhealthy, I know). Most of all it's the atmosphere: it's a small shop unlike the huge cafeteria style places in HK. Plus, you pick from several raw dim sums on display that they then steam there for you.

3. Lady-boys: being gay is almost synonymous with being transexual

4. Pointing the soles of your feet at people is disrespectful. I read in the newspaper that Thailand has banned YouTube.com because they would not remove a video that shows a pair of feet above the king's head.

5. Speaking of banning websites, pornsites are blocked in Thailand, but brothels are as common on the streets of Bangkok as bars and clubs are in any American city (partnership between government and brothel owners?). They even have brothels the size of big hotels. Yet, prostitution is technically illegal. Talk about unenforcement.

6. Public parks are much livlier in BKK than in any other city I've seen. Usually in other cities, you'll only see couples sitting on benches, kids chasing pigeons, some people taking naps or reading on the grass, and roller-blading or jogging. But in Bangkok parks I see all that and badminton, jugglers, break-dancing, large groups of middle-aged folks dancing arobics to techno music, and at one specific park capoeiristas and traditional Thai instrumental music.

7. When you buy a bottle of water or a coke at a convenience store, they put it in a small plastic bag and throw in a straw so quickly that you have no time to say "no thanks". Buy the tiniest thing, and they still stuff it in a plastic bag for you. Plenty of times I see the customer take the item out of the bag as soon as they step out, throwing the bag and straw right away. Thailand is the most plastic-wasting country I've ever been to.

8. Prices! A movie ticket normally doesn't cost more than 4US$, and sometimes just 3US$ if you buy tickets in bulk!

9. Nose-picking scenarios:
On a date...talking romantic things and flirting...suddenly while she's talking she's picking her nose...
Or...in class, after asking a question, boy raises his hand yelling 'I know! I know!' all the while digging into his nostril with pinky finger.

10. Many things to tribute na! No room here. You go see for yourself na!


Sometimes we need songs or other forms of artwork and expression to remind us of the places we've been. I have the Thai national anthem memorized, as well as the popular Pali Buddhist chant. There's also the melody of Sasern Pra Baramee - the tributary song for the King.



And thus ends my time in Thailand. Overall, I'd say that it was a chapter of my life where I seriously slowed down the pace of my life, looked around, and really tried to see things that my eyes had forgotten how to perceive. It was a time that I really owned up to my faults and genuinely looked for a way to change. I also learned the true meaning of love. Well, a lot of this was possible because of my trip to India, but still, Thailand was important nonetheless. And plus, I got a whole lot better at interacting with little kids. I may visit the country again in the future from time to time to visit people.

Next travelog: Hong Kong

Things I like

I like that even if I go to a big global-class Capitalist business like Starbucks...as long as it's in Thailand, I can be greeted with a warm familiar smile and greeting. Everywhere here is like the Cheers bar. The 7-11 on the corner, the ice-cream shop down the street, the noodle street stall, all these places are where "everybody knows your name, doo doo doo doo da da." I'll walk into the noodle place, the lady will just smile a genuine smile and repeat my usual order "roast duck on white rice, extra rice, no egg." All I have to do is smile back and say "krup".

But why is it that every establishment has a "mom and pop family store" feel to it? Maybe one reason is because the employees work there for hours that break labor laws in the US. Whether you go there early in the morning, after lunch, or late at night, you can expect to see the same people. And not just Mondays and Fridays, but every day. Well, sometimes once in a while you won't see one of them when you go, but either way, none of them are strangers if you go on a regular basis.

But maybe the more important reason is because of the shopping-mall culture of the US. Middle-class Americans work during their 5 working days in order to earn their right to glutinous consumerism on the weekends...at massive places like Wal-Mart, Circuit City, Filene's, etc etc. All the employees will be strangers to you, and you'll be a stranger to all of them. Here, people usually get their daily necessities from a local mini-mart, their daily coffee from the local coffee shop, and their noodles from their favorite local noodle shop. They're all small. Big shopping malls are special trips for common Thais, and only frequented regularly perhaps by the rich.

My school year is slowly winding down...coming to an end.

My students have all become familiar with me, falling into their respective niches in the ecology of a classroom, together forming an organic class entity with their classmates. Adding or subtracting a single student from the mix can throw the whole entire class into the headache-causing category or the angel teacher's dream category.

Grade four is my angelic class, grade five treats me like a substitute teacher almost every day, and grade six is only 2 students, which lets me do so much for each of them.

Anyway, I fly to Malaysia next week for a routine visa run...my current visa is running out.

Man, I always seem to have good ideas for what to blog about, but this is just getting boring. I need to excersize my creativity muscles more.

I think I'll read about Kanye West now on Wikipedia.

In the life of Felix Poon

Welcome to my room. To your left you see my kitchen. There is my 2-in-1 hot pot and hot plate, along with cutting board, soy sauce, oil and vinegar, and a bunch of random instant noddle packets and ketchup packets from McDonalds and chili packets from wherever.

Below you see my dining room. And the pictures below below are the results of my cooking.