The Breakup

In my office...

"Man, I don't want to hurt her feelings. What's she gonna say? How's she gonna react? It's not her really, it's me," I say to my friend.

"Nice Seinfeld quote. Whadya mean it's you?" he asks.

"I mean, I'm just not ready for this commitment. I feel like I could keep going if I really wanted to. But if I do, I really should give it my all, and I don't have my all to give now," I say.

"Yo, that's deep..." he says.

"That's it, I've decided to do it!" I say, slamming my fist to the desk causing my friend to jump out of his seat. "I have to break it to her! Now!"

Several moments pass...I'm pacing around in my office.

"Where is she? I'm getting so nervous. She was supposed to be in her office half an hour ago!" I exclaim.

"Calm down, jeez. Why do you worry so much?!" my friend says.

"Ohh...damn it. Maybe I should just suck it up and keep going. She's not that bad, I can stay with her. I dunno man. I just can never make a decision. Oh wait, there she is! She just got into her office! Oh no man!" I say, pulling hair out of both sides of my head pacing ever more frantically in my office. "Never mind, I'm going home! Forget this!"

"No man, c'mon! It's not that big a deal, just go and tell her!" my friend says. "You're done with her, through! That's it! Go tell her."

"You're right," I say. "Here I go!" I walk over to her office and sit down across from her. "Um...how exactly should I put this," I say. She gives me a quizzical look. "Well, I remember from one of your emails you sent to me while I was in Thailand, um...yeah, about the PhD program, that the PhD program requires a...a umm...a single-pointed concentration, to get thr-, to uh, to succeed."

Her expression is blank, but I know there's more going on beneath her facade.

"Well, I'm just not at that point," I continue. "I don't have that concentration. So I wanted to discuss with you my options for just getting the masters degree and dropping out of the PhD program." I sense some disappointment from her, and an obligation welling up in me to console her. "It's not that the program isn't good or anything," I stress to her, "or that I don't want to be an academic in the future. Actually, I think I do want to, eventually, just not now. I'm just not at that point in my life yet to make that commitment. Maybe if we're really meant to be, then some day I can apply for the program again, and come back."

Several moments later back in my office...

"So how was the breakup?" my friend asks.

"Meh, not bad. She took it a lot better than I thought. No begging for me to stay at all. Hey, that Boston University sociology program looks pretty hot huh? What's their number?"

"Dude, you just broke up! Man, you're such a PhD whore!"