"Life isn't about finding your self. Life is about creating your self."

In response to comments on my last blog:

What I meant about being a good actor was a part of a philosophy of life. On the inside I want to be calm and peaceful, purposeful and content. But this would just let others roll over me and take advantage of my kindness or passivity. That's why I have to have an external persona that can be aggressive when it needs to be aggressive. I was calling this "acting." It's something I need a lot of work on.

About choosing sociology over English, I naively thought that English was about reading fiction and doing creative writing. I didn't realize that there's theorizing, there's Marxism, there's cultural studies, there's all sorts of other components in it. Now that you mention my essay, I'll have to dig it up and read it again.


And yes, I'd be excited to be in Boston. It's not just a 'push' that's making me drop the program, it's also the pull of being in a quaint, large-sized yet manageable city. It's also a city that my family has had roots in ever since my father immigrated there almost 4 decades ago. A handfull of uncles and aunts always make a monthly ritual outing to Boston for Dim Sum and grocery shopping, and my cousin and her three children live in the 'burbs over there. There's stronger family presence in Boston, more diversity, and plenty of things going on there.


And so I think I'd only partially agree with the title quote. Life was about 'finding my self' as soon as I was given the analytical tools to do so (mostly in college). In other words, it was about understanding my present by analyzing my past (and societal influences). But now that I've more or less 'found my self' and also 'found the global' (if I can say that this world has an identity of its own), it's time to take control of my self, and start creating my self.